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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Lauren's Free Advice: Stop Sidewalk Ministries


As I walk to class, avoiding eye contact from the creepers I encounter daily, I look down at the imprints left in the cement. Some were dog paw prints, others were promises of love forever. For some reason, every time I walk by one particular message I go into shock all over again. It is then that I am reminded of the bizarre practices of some religious people. The message "Try Jesus" was written in all caps. More than I would like to meet the dummy that wrote that, I would like to meet the person that saw that message and ran promptly to the nearest church. I'm all about the freedom of speech and the desire of religious people to "minister" and recruit others to the flock... but really? In the cement? If it's true that when you get to heaven you get stars in your crown for every person you bring to God, I'd like to think that person will get a discolored and misshapen star for that half assed attempt at "spreading the gospel".

I can't stand the annoying knock at the door by the Jehovah's witnesses either, but at least they take it seriously. They would rather interrupt your dinner to ask if you've been saved than simply leave a note in your door. Now that's hard work.

On a positive note, these lame attempts at ministering probably work on some people. Considering my Adventist reflex to run to church in a frenzy of guilt has long been replaced with my strong desire sleep in on Saturdays, it's lost on me. But don't give up because I'm mocking you... you never know who's looking down hoping for the answer to all of life's questions.

~Lauren



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