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Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Free Advice:
Ruben Studdard & Denise Warner


Second season American Idol winner Ruben Studdard took time out of his busy schedule of over consumption and serenading chubby chasing females everywhere that are plagued by low self esteem, to weigh in on the subject of Ellen DeGeneres replacing Paula Abdul as an American Idol judge. "Ellen has been in the industry for so long, I think her opinion most definitely matters. She's been around great talent for a long time. So I'm sure they wouldn't have asked her to be on the show if she doesn't have the ability to discern what's great talent and what's not," Ruben explained.

I don't know what confused me more. The fact that Ruben deems his opinions as appreciated or even useful or that someone was able to remember who exactly Ruben Studdard is not to mention manage to dig him up out of obscurity. There's nothing like having to interview a former reality star that is less "has been" more "never was" to let you know that your journalism abilities are about as appreciated as a vagina at a drag show.

My advice...... Ruben, stick to weighing in on subjects that you actually know a great deal about like the pros and cons of buffet style seating, or the usefulness of man girdles. As for the journalist that interviewed him, Denise Warner, if I were you I would switch career paths I hear Scores is always looking for nice young girls with talent. Sure you would have to take your clothes off in front of utter strangers for a few dollars but at least you wouldn't have to embarrass yourself by interviewing people that don't matter about subjects that nobody cares about. Plus you'll finally have an excuse to wear those clear platform heels buried deep within your closet. Good luck Ms. Warner, I hear its only nauseating the first couple of times you bare it all, unlike interviewing D list celebrities, which is stomach churning every time.
~Melissa

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