"IBS stands for I Barely Shit. My spastic colon is probably wrapped so tightly around itself that simply considering passing stool calls for celebration. With this kind of screwed up situation going on in my body teamed up with a overly sensitive stomach, drinking alcohol at this point would likely feel like rubbing your fingers in salt then touching an open wound."
7 comments:
I am so captivated by this picture. I can't figure out who's talent we're putting on display here. Your writing ability or that wonderful talent that young girl has discovered, concerning her mouth or more particularly what all she can shove in there without gagging.
Im actually attempting to immitate her right now...only Im having a little difficulty because my bud light can is open and I can't determine whether I want to spit or swallow. Decisions...decisions.
Look @ art immitating life. lol but im I already told you Im like a serial typer...type send...type send...shit i forgot something. thus the three seperate attempts to say my peace.
Walking into a strangers apartment, then jumping in their shower with clothes on... still funny. Even funnier if the shower wasn't vacant at the time.
LOL it wasn't funny for the poor sucker who was trying desperately to figure out who I was how I got into their apt. Leaving the door unlocked.... never a good idea.
Not at the time probably, but it will get there. You should be given a medal, you give some boring neighbor a story to tell for the rest of his life. Something to woo the ladies with on a first date. Something to tell the bar chums in an attempt to prove that he is not nearly as boring as they appear. Just think, if this stranger happens to be a writer...I guarantee we will see this odd occurence pop into their work within the next five years. The one night I came home....etc. In a round about sort of way, I believe you may have given this lucky chap a reason to live.
Yay you & yay drinking!
I like the way you're thinking... I appreciate this new found clarity.
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