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Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Cheap Shots
Michael Lohan

Michael Lohan, father of Lindsay Lohan is finally opening up regarding his daughters erratic behavior. He blames her spiraling downfall on prescription drug abuse. "While Michael wouldn't specify what particular medications his daughter is "abusing," he does believe that they've changed her for the worse." He even went as far as saying, "she's a different person." "This was not the kid I raised."

Mr. Lohan, take a que from the parents of other young B-list celebrities. Smile, shake your head quietly, and just pray that she hasn't squandered so much of her money on cocaine and Valium that she has to tuck her tail between her legs and move back home. She is an adult now, from here on out she is solely to blame for the shitty happenings in her life. Parent's get off the hook for watching their daughters change through the peep hole, slapping their spouse with a golf club, and doing lines of blow in front of their kids once their children are of legal age. Congratulations, you were successful. Now let's just hope her promiscuity has left her barren so that we won't have to place bets on what drug her kid overdoses on.

Mr. Lohan admitting to the world that your daughter has a problem doesn't make you a good parent and you don't get credit for your own addiction by outing her either. Your daughter has many problems, drugs are only one of them. Keep in mind though, the more sober and coherent she is the easier it is for her to remember her childhood and what events helped mold her into the pill popping, on and off again lesbian, clepto that she is. If I were you I would just find out what milligram prescription she is using and ask that doctor to double it. Sometimes it's just easier to start fresh. Hopefully losing one daughter will be encouragement enough to do things right next time.


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