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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Blue



Jay Z wasted absolutely no time in writing and recording a new song featuring his brand new daughter who got her name from her father's favorite color. Creative. My favorite color is that magical hue you get when you accidently mix your ketchup and honey mustard, so beat that.

Am I the only one confused about Jay Z's proclamation that Blue is his "greatest creation"? Some where in the world, his son is slitting his wrist with a shard of plastic from a broken copy of the Black Album. I was rather anxious to be able to see the pics of the baby. That was until Jay Z so eloquently remarked in his song that "she looks like a little me". After spitting the vomit out of my mouth, I quickly lost interest in ever seeing this baby. It's hard enough to look at Jay Z in the face without having the sudden urge to watch Lord of the Rings. I'd prefer never to see that goblin-esque face on a miniature body. Poor thing. Clearly, money can't buy a cute kid. ("Believe me, I've tried" -Angelina Jolie)

My first wish, in the name of all things fair, was that the child would come out looking only of her mother. Since that dream is apparently floating out of reach, I just hope she doesn't turn out just as annoying and precocious as Will Smith's kids. Though, even after a few days, Blue now has just as much of an annoying singing career as Willow Smith.




-Lauren

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