Troubling Signs ...Indicators of a Down Low Husband

"I am in no way implying that if your husband isn't banging you like a teenager he is gay, because that's just not true. Cheer up, there is hope, he may very well just be enjoying a more simpler heterosexual affair. There are a whole different set of signs for that sort of thing. But on the off chance that its me banging your husband, Ill just keep those to myself"

How You Know Your Boyfriend Is Gay (According to Lauren)

"At this time, the only thing you need to do is pack your bags and leave quickly, because not only are you dating a gay guy, but he just figuratively busted out of the closet singing Barbara Streisand's greatest hits. It's only a matter of time before he starts watching Desperate Housewives, borrowing your skinny jeans, and offering to flat iron your hair."